Mary is a stunning, free-spirited art restorer whose undeniable allure leaves a trail of captivated admirers in her wake, though she remains entirely oblivious to the chaotic romantic energy she effortlessly generates. Her life takes a pivotal turn when she crosses paths with Ted, a hopelessly devoted and socially awkward architect who finally summons the courage to ask her to the senior prom. Despite Ted’s excruciatingly nervous disposition and a disastrous, agonizingly painful bathroom mishap involving his zipper that lands him in the hospital before the big night, Mary genuinely falls for his endearing vulnerability. However, circumstances tear them apart, leaving Ted heartbroken, consumed by regret, and relentlessly pining for her over the course of thirteen agonizing years.Desperate for closure and urged on by his cynical best friend, Ted hires a slippery, low-rent private investigator named Pat Healy to track Mary down in Miami. Upon finding her, Pat is instantly struck by her beauty and deviously decides to betray Ted. He invents elaborate, fabricated stories about Ted’s current lifestyle—portraying him as a deranged and unstable stalker—in order to sabotage their reunion and win Mary’s heart for himself. Unbeknownst to Pat, he is far from the only man orbiting Mary. Her life is already crowded with a rotating, increasingly unhinged cast of suitors, including Brett, a bitter former
football player suffering from a debilitating leg injury, and Tucker, an eccentric architect posing as a physically disabled man to win her sympathy and constant care.As Ted travels to Miami to finally reconnect with the woman of his dreams, he stumbles headfirst into this bizarre, escalating web of deception, lies, and extreme romantic desperation. Misunderstandings multiply exponentially as Ted witnesses Pat’s deceptive nature firsthand, while the other obsessive suitors fiercely converge on Mary’s apartment to stake their respective claims. Chaos reaches its absolute zenith during a frantic, high-stakes confrontation where all of Mary's
past and present lovers simultaneously collide in her living room. Through a series of wildly embarrassing revelations, Pat’s manipulative schemes are violently exposed, Tucker’s elaborate facade crumbles, and Ted is forced to lay his unfiltered heart entirely on the line. In the end, stripped of all pretenses and comedic disasters, Ted demonstrates a rare, genuine selflessness that finally cuts through the surrounding noise, allowing Mary to realize that beneath his awkward exterior lies the only man who truly loves her for who she is.