The sleepy, quintessential English countryside is terrorized by a sinister covert operation run by the flamboyant, eccentric mad scientist Dr. Orlando Watt and his sadistic, leather-clad femme fatale sister, Valeria. Their diabolic method involves abducting young, unsuspecting couples out on romantic evening strolls. Utilizing a bizarre, highly specialized apparatus, Dr. Watt subjects his victims to extreme physical shock, transforming them completely into rigid, glossy mannequins. These lifeless human statues are then systematically shipped off to foreign buyers as bizarre, morbid home decor.The dark operations face an
unexpected threat when one of the victims, a young woman named Doris, is snatched while parked with her terrified boyfriend, Albertuggins. Horrified and desperate, Albertuggins frantically reports the bizarre disappearance to the local constabulary. The case lands on the desk of the brilliantly pompous and
bumbling Detective Sergeant Sidney Bung, an officer of wildly inflated self-importance who is utterly convinced he is a master sleuth. Alongside his perpetually exhausted, long-suffering assistant, Detective Constable Sloboth, Bung initiates an investigation that immediately exposes his utter incompetence.Bung’s stubborn suspicions naturally lead him away from the real culprits and toward the eerie, sprawling estate of Bide-a-Wee Cottage, home to the eccentric, nocturnal Fennel family and their imposing, hulking butler, Cribb. Unbeknownst to the bumbling detective, the Fennels are actually reluctant accomplices coerced into aiding Dr. Watt's horrific enterprise.Driven by professional ambition, Detective Bung relentlessly pursues the case, stumbling blindly through a series of increasingly absurd misadventures, gothic traps, and close encounters with the supernatural. Despite his constant blundering and misinterpretations of glaring clues, Bung stumbles ever closer to the truth through sheer, blind luck. Meanwhile, Dr. Watt and Valeria continue their chilling factory production, unaware that their web of terror is beginning to unravel at the seams.The escalating chaos culminates in a wild, surreal confrontation at Dr. Watt’s subterranean laboratory lair. A frantic rescue mission ensues to save the petrified victims—including Doris—before they are permanently packaged for export. In a whirlwind of slapstick panic, exploding equipment, and unexpected heroics, the villains' elaborate scheme is finally dismantled. Dr. Watt’s macabre empire collapses around him, and the kidnapped lovers are miraculously restored to flesh and blood. Detective Sergeant Bung, seizing the moment, steps forward to claim full, undeserved credit for cracking the bizarre case, returning the idyllic countryside to its peaceful, oblivious routine.